Glad I changed my mind about med. school — still have that thing with blood — makes me disappear — almost like magic — but not really.
Water is still running in the kitchen sink — just like I left it — just after I stuck my hand into it — trying so, so hard not to see those drops of red. Shock — had to be. Must have bumped my head too — because — this time — it was different.
Not an out of body experience, I don’t think. More like that place between sleep and waking where you’re not really anywhere — not even dreaming. Confusing. Because I was just about to pour hot fudge sauce on my lime sherbet — just about to lick the spoon — at Gifford’s — getting ice cream with my dad and sisters. My dad always got the works.
I loved that about him — I miss that.
I miss him.
The UPS man was carrying a crumpled, opened box — chewing gum, snickering.
Can’t believe you bought a Thigh Master, he said.
Didn’t mean to slam the door — that hard. A picture fell.
Then there was a deep quiet — worth exploring — but I couldn’t. My right ear was throbbing. No blood though. Not sure how that deer got in the dining room. I stood up — and it turned back into a chair.