My Gnome is George


George–my gnome– normally stays on my desk, near my computer.  He is helpful, neat and oh so  funny.  If you could only hear the things he says… har-de-har-har!!  And he’s sweet. Sugar and spice–like the perfect shortbread cookie.  And… he’s a gentleman.  Smells nice too! Like limes and coconut with a hint of cardamom.  George is very social. That, however, can be a problem. Sometimes he disappears for days and days. When he returns home–he  smells more like rum and “tobacco.”   But,  he says he’s balanced.  He does yoga. I think he said it’s Bikram…I should double check that.  George is a shaman.  And he’s from Jamaica!   So, of course, I trust–I know that George can help me with this little problem I’m having.


Somebody or something  is playing tricks on me.  For about 2 weeks now–a few of my favorite things have mysteriously vanished.  But, yesterday was a game changer! I didn’t even notice that huge tear in the back of my pants–until it was too late.  So now.  Game over.  I want my glove back. I want my sock back and I especially want my earring back. George will get to the bottom of it!  

I told George that it must be elves playing tricks on me. George thinks it’s  probably a pixie. But…he’s really hoping it’s a beautiful fairy!  I know one thing for sure–it is not my dog Kookaburra.


She’s been busy (obsessed)  trying to find the perfect holiday outfit for our neighbor’s annual hot-diggity-dog party.  This year’s theme:  Must Wear Red.  So, it’s definitely  not Kookaburra.  George will figure this out!


George knows all about  magic  and like I said before–he is super social.  The elves will surely listen to him.  Initially, I tried contacting the elves on my own.  I even left out a wee piece of fruitcake  and a smidgen of chocolate for them.  But, I have since learned that some  elves are easily offended.  I should have made it clear that these items were gifts, not payment.


Last night I put George in the kitchen with a bowl of cream next to him.  I reminded George to offer the cream as a  gift to the elves. I also reminded him that elves can be tricky.  I told him to be careful. I said, Don’t drink anything they offer you and certainly do not smoke, please!  I wanted him to make a good impression.  His goal was to get my stuff back.


This morning, I rushed down to the kitchen to check on things.  The cream was still there–untouched even.

But George was gone!

He left a note:

I haven’t figured out the glove/sock thing.  But…I met a Sugar Plum Fairy.  See you next year (maybe).  He He.